If they show up without notice, you have every right to turn into a grumpy troll and refuse entry. Say, “I’m incubating a chicken egg,” and close the door. But if you want to be nice (why? you’re moving out!), you can request they reschedule for a time that fits your “naked cleaning ritual.” The law is on your side here, but remember: being a teeny bit difficult sometimes gets you a better reference. Just don’t be the tenant who screams “I’LL CALL THE POLICE” when the realtor gently knocks—unless you’re actually naked, in which case, call the cops and also a therapist.
The Final, Humiliating Truth
Look, you have to leave if you want your apartment rented quickly and your sanity preserved. But here’s a secret: you can pretend you’re not leaving. Leave a note that says, “Gone for a quick murder, back in 20.” Or play dramatic music from a hidden speaker as they walk in. The key is to own the weirdness because eventually, you’ll be the one looking at someone else’s underwear drawer, wondering why they have 17 bottles of hot sauce. So grab your keys, buy that coffee, and let the strangers dream about your countertops. Your apartment will thank you—and so will your therapist.
