So should you toss your beloved seltzer? Only if you’re allergic to joy. Seltzer water is just water with an attitude. It hydrates you as effectively as still water, helps you avoid sugary alternatives, and makes your burps feel sophisticated. If you’re still worried, toss an electrolyte tablet into your seltzer—boom, now it’s “functional water” and you can charge people $8 for it. (Just a suggestion.)
Next time someone warns you about dehydration from seltzer, raise your can with a smirk and say, “The only thing drying out is my patience for bad science.” Then take a long, fizzy sip. You earned it.
