Let’s run through the nominations, because it’s like a sad little parade of almost-wins. First up: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl in 2004. That was his first Oscar nod, for Best Actor, and everyone thought, “Finally! They’re gonna give it to the guy who made slurring a dialect!” But no—the Oscar went to Sean Penn for Mystic River, a film so heavy it probably needed a chiropractor on set. It’s like bringing a glitter cannon to a funeral home.
Then came Finding Neverland in 2005, where Johnny played J.M. Barrie, the man who invented Peter Pan. He was so gentle and tragic in that film that you half-expected pixie dust to fly out of his tear ducts. The Academy, however, was not charmed, and the statue went to Jamie Foxx for Ray. Look, Jamie Foxx is a genius, but have you ever seen Johnny Depp pretend to fly around a nursery with a dog dressed as a crocodile? I rest my case.
The Final Nail in the Oscar Coffin
His last nomination came in 2008 for Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Yes, he was nominated for a role where he sang about cutting people’s throats while using a straight razor like a conductor’s baton. That’s the kind of role that should automatically grant you lifetime access to an Oscar—maybe even a second one for “Most Creative Use of a Barber Chair.” But no, the award went to Daniel Day-Lewis for There Will Be Blood. Come on! Even the title of that film sounds like it’s showing off.
Why Johnny Depp Has Never Won An Oscar
Since then, Johnny hasn’t even gotten a sniff of another nomination. It’s as if the Academy said, “You’ve had your three shots, buddy. Go back to wearing scarves in 90-degree weather and arguing with your ex-wife in public.” And just to rub salt in the wound, he has a Golden Globe, a Screen Actors Guild award, and a bunch of MTV Movie Awards—which are basically the Oscars for people who drink too much Mountain Dew. He even won a People’s Choice Award for “Favorite Movie Icon.” That’s like being voted “Best Pizza Topping” while the actual pizzeria refuses to serve you.
