So next time you stare down a raw round steak, remember: you’ve got a mallet, a marinade, and a little baking soda in your corner. You are not a victim of tough meat—you are its master. With a few love taps and a splash of acid, that humble steak will rise to the occasion, soft and delicious, like a shy kid who shocks everyone at the school talent show.
And even on the off chance it’s a little chewy? Hey, you’ve earned some extra jaw exercise. You’re building character—and dinner. Now go forth, tenderize with confidence, and remember: the steak is your canvas, and you are Picasso with a meat mallet. Happy cooking, you beautiful kitchen warrior!
