Now, here’s the ironic part. Victoria and Albert were obsessed with being model parents. They wrote manual after manual on how to raise perfect, moral, German-style children. But in practice? They were a hot mess. Albert was a strict disciplinarian who made the kids study from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m., while Victoria constantly complained they were “delicate” or “dull.”
“The children are all, thank God, strong and healthy,” Victoria once wrote, before immediately contradicting herself by calling one a “plague.” You really feel for these kids. Imagine having the Queen of England as your mom—she’s literally judging your table manners from across the palace. No pressure.
How Queen Victoria influenced these modern world traditions | National
The young royals were also used as political pawns. Victoria’s grand plan? Marry them off to every royal family in Europe. And she succeeded. Her children ended up sitting on thrones in Germany, Russia, Greece, and Romania. That’s why World War I was basically a family squabble—because all the cousins were related to Queen Vic.
The Tragic Toll
But let’s not pretend it was all wedding cake and tiaras. Having nine children in 17 years was brutal on Victoria’s body and mind. She suffered from postpartum depression after almost every birth, and she famously hated being pregnant. “I think our sex is a most disgusting one,” she once wrote to her daughter. You can almost hear the sigh.
And the children weren’t immune to tragedy. Leopold had hemophilia, which was a death sentence back then. Alice died young from diphtheria. Alfred struggled with alcoholism. Even the “golden couple’s” perfect image cracked under the weight of so many lives. Victoria herself outlived three of her children, which is a grim statistic for any parent.
Queen Victoria’s children: How many children did Queen Victoria and
So, the next time you feel overwhelmed by managing a household or a career, just remember: Queen Victoria did it with nine kids, no microwave, and a husband who took her to task for every sneeze. Nine children—and she still found time to conquer India. Now that’s multitasking.
But honestly, it explains a lot about her famous line: “We are not amused.” With that many kids, who would be? If you’ve ever wondered why the Victorians were so stiff-lipped, it’s probably because they were all exhausted from dodging little princes and princesses. So, there you have it. Nine tiny royals, one overwhelmed queen, and a legacy that still haunts European genealogy charts.
And if you’re thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of childbirth,” you’re right. But also—just imagine the royal nanny’s salary. That is the real story here.
