First, get a calendar app and set a countdown. No, I’m not kidding. Seeing “1,094 days” on your phone every morning makes you feel like a time traveler from the future who already knows the score.
Second, start practicing your goal celebrations. Have you tried sliding across a hardwood floor on your knees yet? It hurts more than you think. But when your team scores, you’ll want to look like a champ, not a guy pulling a hamstring.
Third, and most important: make peace with the fact that you’ll lose money on a bet. Everyone bets on the World Cup. You’ll bet on Iceland to win, they’ll lose 6-0, and you’ll say, “Well, the atmosphere was nice.” Embrace the tragedy.
A final, weirdly poetic thought.
The World Cup is like a giant countdown to collective insanity. For one month, strangers hug in bars, bosses mysteriously okay late starts, and the world speaks one language: “OOOOHHHHHH.”
So, how many days till the World Cup? 1,095, give or take a leap year. But who’s counting? Oh, right—I am. And now you are too. Get hyped, get a foam finger, and remember: a dog named Pickles once saved this entire spectacle. If that doesn’t make you smile, I don’t know what will.
