Your water bill is a masterpiece of creative charges. There’s the "sewer fee," which is usually higher than the water fee itself. That’s the cost of flushing—literally paying for the privilege of making your waste disappear. Then there’s the "stormwater fee," which is a tax on rain. Yes, you can be billed for the sky crying.
One town in Texas charged residents a "drought surcharge" during a dry spell. Another added a "water conservation fee" for saving too much water—because apparently you disrupted the budget. It’s like getting a ticket for driving efficiently.
And don’t forget the base charge, a flat fee even if you used zero gallons. That’s the water company saying, "Thanks for existing. Pay up." You could be on a month-long vacation, and your empty house still owes twelve bucks for the joy of being connected to a pipe.
