Eggnog is a deceptive little devil. It looks innocent, like a milkshake in a winter coat. But one cup packs more calories than a small pizza and enough dairy to make a cow blush. I once watched my cousin Dave polish off half a carton while claiming he was “just getting in the holiday spirit.” Forty minutes later, he was lying on the floor, regretting his life choices, whispering, “I can feel the nutmeg in my soul.”
Too much eggnog doesn’t just fill you up—it redefines the concept of fullness. You go from “nice and cozy” to “I think I swallowed a beach ball” in about three sips. It’s like that one relative who hugs you too long: lovely at first, but after ten seconds, you’re plotting an escape.
Your Body’s Honest Feedback
The human body is actually pretty good at telling you when you’ve crossed the line. If you start feeling a lactic grip in your lower abdomen, that’s not the Christmas spirit—that’s the eggnog spirit, and it’s mad. Another sign: when your breath smells like a baked good, and not in a charming way. You know you’ve overdone it when you burp and someone says, “Oh, you’re having pumpkin pie for dinner?” No, Sharon, that’s the nog aftermath.
I once attended a holiday party where a guy named Rick drank eggnog like it was tap water. He said, “It’s just milk with spices, right?” Wrong, Rick. Very wrong. By midnight, he was slumped in a corner, clutching a throw pillow, insisting that his stomach was “audibly frothing.” We had to cut him off and feed him crackers. He missed the gift exchange.
Trolling survivors or too much Eggnog?? - Dead by Daylight - YouTube
