Next time you feel old because you’re turning thirty, remember Armand. He’s been seventeen for four centuries and still can’t get a date without causing a supernatural feud. He once turned a human into a vampire just to keep him company during a depressive episode. That’s like texting your friend at 2 AM because you’re lonely, only to accidentally turn them into an immortal. So be grateful for your age—you can legally vote, rent a car, and not have to explain your eternal adolescence to every new vampire you meet.
In the end, Armand’s age is a punchline and a tragedy. He’s forever stuck at that awkward stage where you’re old enough to know better, but too young to care. So raise your coffee cup (or your blood goblet, no judgment) to the world’s oldest teenager. He’s been seventeen longer than most countries have existed. And honestly? He’s still figuring it out.
