Before you start printing forms, ask yourself: Do I have a pulse? Is my credit score above “feral raccoon”? Most lenders require you to have a job, a bank account, and a history of not lighting your money on fire. If you’re a freelancer, good luck—they’ll ask for tax returns that smell of regret.
Pro tip: If your bank says “no,” try smiling. It works 2% of the time. The other 98%? You get a pity pamphlet.
