No, you wont find strawberries and cream here, unless you bring your own. Wimbledon is mostly famous for tennis, but it’s also got roundabouts so confusing they should be classified as extreme sports. That’s why training here is brilliant. If you can survive a Wimbledon roundabout at 4:30 PM, you can ride through the fiery gates of Mordor on a rush hour.
Universal is tucked away near the industrial estate, which is perfect. Nobody goes there by accident, so you’ve got dead-end roads and empty car parks to make all your rookie mistakes without killing a pedestrian. And trust me, you will make mistakes.
The CBT: Three Hours of “Why Is This So Hard?”
Day one of your CBT is not about the road. It’s about you, a bike, and the crushing weight of your own ego. You’ll start in a car park, trying to figure out which lever is the clutch and which is the brake. Hint: The one that makes you fly over the handlebars is the front brake—but don’t worry, you’ll learn that lesson personally.
Your instructor, let’s call him Dave (they’re always called Dave), will shout things like, “Look where you want to go!” while you stare at a wall and somehow steer directly into it. It’s a law of physics: if you look at a pothole, the bike will marry the pothole. It’s called “target fixation,” and it’s the reason why deer stare at headlights and why I once rode into a bush.
Surprising fact: Most people drop the bike during their first CBT. The machines have crash bars for a reason. It’s not a failure; it’s a rite of passage. The instructors expect it. They’ve seen a grown man tip over because he sneezed while putting his foot down. You are not unique.
From Car Park to Public Humiliation (I Mean, the Road)
After you’ve mastered the art of going in a straight line without crying, Dave will take you onto actual streets. This is where the real fun begins. You’ll be doing a U-turn in a residential street, trembling, while a pensioner in a Nissan Micra patiently waits. She’s not impressed. She’s seen it all before—she once taught her cat to parallel park.
1ª Parte Tirei minha CBT na Universal Motorcycle Training. - YouTube
Universal’s route includes a delightful hill start that feels like climbing Everest on a push scooter. You stall. You restart. You stall again. The car behind you honks, and Dave waves at them like he’s royalty. Lesson learned: A motorcycle instructor’s wave is a universal sign for “Sod off, I’m teaching a future road menace.”
By the end of the ride, you’ll be exhausted, sweaty, and smelling like two-stroke fumes and fear. But you’ll also feel a weird, addictive buzz. You did it. You rode a motorbike in traffic and didn’t die. That’s a win in anyone’s book.
