If you blindfolded me and handed me a glass of seltzer, I’d say, “Ah, clean, neutral, like a deep breath.” If you handed me tonic, I’d probably make a face and ask, “Who put bitter grapefruit peel in my fizzy water?”
Tonic is assertive. It demands your attention. Seltzer is a blank page. Tonic is a loud, opinionated novel. Which one you prefer says a lot about your personality. (I’m not saying tonic drinkers are secretly drama lovers. But I’m not not saying that.)
Wait, what about club soda and sparkling mineral water?
I know, I know. The fizzy water family tree is complicated. Club soda is basically seltzer with a pinch of baking soda and salt. It’s for that extra-slight mineral taste. Sparkling mineral water comes from a natural spring, so it has its own distinct flavor profile. That’s a whole other coffee date.
For now, just remember this: sugar and quinine are the cliff that divides tonic from seltzer. Seltzer has neither. Tonic has both. Case closed.
