Watch the old auditions on YouTube. Witness the singing cat lady from 2018. Marvel at the middle-aged man who plays piano with his nose. It reminded you how glorious humans are.
Practice your own audition in the shower. Even if it’s terrible. You are a star, even if your star burns brightly only in your bathroom. Simon will never know.
Count down the days on a calendar you make yourself. Use stickers. Draw a little buzzer. It’s silly, but it’s your silly. Embrace it.
Final, Absolute Truth
When does Britain’s Got Talent start? Sometime in April. Maybe the 12th. Maybe the 19th. It’s a beautiful, frustrating, magical mystery.
But when it does, you will sit on your couch. You will eat your snacks. You will watch a circus performer or a granny rapper. And you will feel alive.
So keep your eyes peeled, your remote ready, and your skepticism low. The madness is coming. And it starts with a date you’ll have to hunt for. Good luck, you beautiful detective.
