In short: if you live near a Pizza Hut that’s closing, sorry—you might have to drive a few extra miles or use a different app. But the brand itself is shrinking to grow, like a teenager who decides to ditch the acne cream and go full zombie-chic.
Pizza Hut will survive, probably by turning into a network of tiny, robot-operated huts that deliver via drone. And those 300 shuttered stores? They’ll become laundromats, vape shops, or parking lots for people who miss the ’90s.
Until then, grab your phone, order a supreme, and thank the universe that at least the space pizza didn’t get canceled. Long may the crust be stuffed, and the locations be fewer—but better.
