Here’s a pro tip: if you see a Wawa billboard on I-95 north, you’re at least 20 minutes from anywhere. It’s a curse, I swear. That hoagie smell is just a tease.
And if you do finally crawl past the stopped traffic? Don’t get cocky. The next jam is already forming five miles ahead. It’s like the highway breathes, and you’re just a dust particle in its lung.
So hang in there, friend. Stay hydrated. Don’t honk at the Prius. And remember: we’re all in this slow-moving nightmare together. See you at the restart of civilization. Eventually.
