Here’s the truth: there are too many people in a city that’s too old for its own good. The Romans laid these streets for carts and horses. Now we’re cramming SUVs and food trucks into them. It’s like wearing a toddler’s shoes as an adult. They don’t fit.
Plus, everyone wants to go everywhere at the exact same time. We’re all particles in a giant, angry atom. Good luck escaping the collision.
So, why is traffic so bad in London today? Because it’s always bad in London. It’s a feature, not a bug. It’s a rite of passage. It’s the city’s way of saying, “Slow down, buddy. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon.”
Now, pass the imaginary coffee. We’re in this together. And turn on the radio. Maybe there’s a jam report that will make us all feel a little less alone. Spoiler: it won’t.
