Did you know that the average American eats 16 pounds of turkey per year? Your bird alone feeds 15 to 20 people. That’s practically a lifetime supply.
Also, turkeys are named after the country of Turkey… but Turks call them “Hindi” (Indian). And Indians call them “Peru.” Nobody agrees on anything. It’s a global conspiracy of deliciousness.
Finally, a 23-pound turkey is a trophy. You’re not just cooking dinner; you’re taming a wild, buttery beast. Treat it with respect, check the temperature, and pour yourself a glass of wine while you wait. You’ve earned it.
Now go get that bird golden. Your oven is calling. Your stomach is roaring. And your guests are about to be very impressed.
